Monday, December 12, 2011

Traffic!

I was stuck in traffic on the Hudson River Drive... It was bumper to bumper. I had to go to the bathroom! The car in front of my had a bunch of these foreigners, I think they were Chinese or something, they all had them different eyes. No offense to ya Chinks. I love everyone, especially ya egg rolls. Ya know!! I love "Lucky Numbers" Chinese take out on 6th street, They have the best Egg Foo Young, the only place that makes it where it don't look and smell like horse shit, just delish.., though their Poo Poo Platter is just THAT..

Where was I .......OH yeah I had to take a crap.

I was waiting for this damn traffic to move... It wouldn't budge. AN HOUR!! Waiting... I just couldn't take it anymore... I got out to the side of my Pinto and had to relieve myself. Wouldn't ya know I had to be constipated!
So here I am in the middle of a traffic jam, with my ass hanging out for all to see and them China people.. and a small stuck piece of shit stuck to my ASS.
So now NOT only isn't the TRAFFIC moving......neither is my bowels!
I was mortified!!
WELL!
One of them China gals....love that song btw..... came out of her damn car and walked over to me... saying something in that foreigner mouth, "Aaaaaa U Or K"
I said ... "Yes fine, get the hell away from ME!"
She had the nerve!! the audacity to walk behind me to where my Children of the Corn was struggling.. and say.. "OOOHHH OOHHHHH!! Ya Shitt'n!! OOOOH OOOOH""
I said "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME CONNIE CHUNGS"
She wouldn't leave,, next thing ya know the rest of them Chinky Chungs came out of the car.. with cameras taking pictures.. one screamed out "GOWING ON U BOOB"
I ran to the back seat of my car.. an grabbed the crowbars I just happen to have on the floor... and swung it at them... I mean I swung that thing so hard.. MY shit came flying out my ass! SO disgusting!
My poop went flying!! Right into one of them SOB'S MOUTHS!!
They RAN back to their car...
and the traffic finally started to flow..

I stopped to get a big pickle before going home. Juicy!!

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