Memories from my Facebook archives Part 1.

Since I am too damn lazy to write anything at this moment, here I will also start including some stories that I had shared on my Facebook page. So here i give ya "Memories from my Facebook archives part 1" :

 My Birthday in Disney World 2010

 For by Birthday I was surprised by my daughter,5 of her illegitimate kids, my son, some weird male friend of his, and my good ole hubby, whom of course thought it was Xmas. We all went to the Sizzler steaks for a nice dinner and then to my surprise a flight out to Walt Disney World!! I couldn't believe it! We stayed at Nicky Moes Highway Motel just 75 miles away from the parks. I still don’t know who the hell paid for it!...BTW them corn fritters came in handy on that plane ride.
Cheap bastards!

Me hanging for dear life on that there Monorail thing. The damn doors closed on my hand! I thought I was dead for sure, luckily I fell off and landed into one of their resorts pools. They thought I was doing a show and I got $50 and a free day pass, which I could give two craps about.

 What the hell was wrong with these people sending me on this crap trip? Why the hell would I want to be around crying little kids, and stupid parents taking pictures? I mean I ain't no spring turkey anymore! They take me to some god damn place with rollercoaster’s and stupid dolls singing at ya while ya drift on some god damn boat? Oh my god! My daughter ran off with one of em’ walking stuffed animals and haven’t see her since. I got stuck with two of her kids for a half hour.

Tea Crap ride with two of my Daughter's now missing kids.

We all went of some contraptions, and then don’t know what happened to them. Doesn't matter my tramp of a daughter will spawn more. My Son and his weirdo friend (forgot it’s name) ran off to Space Mountain.

Oh god that Small World thing got me so sick, I threw up that disgusting Turkey Leg I ate... and that music!... that MUSIC! Ya think they could add some more lyrics to that damn song? I had to hear it in all them languages! I started feeling Ill once I got to them German dolls.

All I wanted was to know where the hell the exit Is, and these two walking stuffed animals thought i wanted a picture with em'

I don't know where the hell I am here or what the hell that was sittin' there next to me , but I do remember it smelled of garlic mixed with crap. I was lost god damn it!

 I got lost and almost died on that freak’n monorail thing(see pic above). Ya couldn't smoke there! What are they nuts? FUCK 'em I did anyway!, and all them fat asses oh my god, one got stuck on that there Dumbo ride, while one of the dumb parades were goings on! They used the claw of death to get her ass out, or I should say “Mickey’s Claw” …too cute. Saw her later eating a double hamburger at Pinocchio’s hamburger joint.

Some SOB told me this would take me out of this god damn place! They LIED!
Luckily I kept my return plane ticket to get the hell out of there!  Now home and wondering if Ernie (my hubby) is ok since I left him in that roach motel. I know I am fine right now that’s for sure. Nice and quite! What a great Birthday.