Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Getting to know ME! My 1st post!

Before I start this thing I must say I never done this before.. I mean I never even heard of a Blog or almost understood what It is until recently. When someone would say Blog I thought they were talking about that last picture Joan Crawford did "Trog". Oh how silly of me for gawd sakes. So from what was told by my son this is supposed to be a diary type thing? Well this is for all my fans out there like Jim and Alan who still write me snail mail after all these years. Well I think Alan passed on a month ago, so this 1st Trog is dedicated to Alan wherever you may be.

My name Is Patricia Smear.. sure you never heard of me. I am an old movie goddess of the screen, well in some places a torn or stained one, or both.I did what some folks like to call 'B' pictures or in my case 'F' pictures but certainly not 'G' pictures. I was also a model, singer and one of the very first go go dancers.
Retired now with a husband Ernie who doesn’t know what day it is or year, oh it ain't pretty I'll tell ya more about him later. My beautiful son Richard Smear, we all call him Dick, he always brightens my day that kid. He always says he's gay..how many kids today say that their happy? How many really, I am blessed. He spends a little more time in his room with the doors locked more than I'd like, but he's gay so that's all that really matters, my Dick is gay!. You'd think he would find a nice girl, get married and get the HELL outta here already!...for gawd sakes! My daughter Sharon, well she's a little bit of another story, A tramp! a WHORE! A SLUT! Oh gawd I can not express anymore than that...really I can't. This woman has about a kid every other week.. I will not go any further into that. She has spawned so many damn grand kids for me, I think some of them were left in my attic a few years ago.. reminds me to get my son to see if that's where the strange smell is coming from. So DISGUSTING. I got to pick her up at the clinic later on today, I almost forgot. She thank gawd doesn't live with me, though she might as well since she's here more than I see my son who actually lives here for Christ sakes. I babysit a lot for this girl as she's constantly working.. she has some job too, different men almost every night. I really don't know what she does come to think of it.. but sure sounds like she's a damn HOOKER. Enough about her! I love Bingo! that is my recreation of choice besides going out on dates with different men in the neighborhood, like Harvey Welks that good humor Ice cream man who I'm seeing later on tonight..oh yeah ..I Scream for his CREAM!, anyway.... Me and my husband had been married for over 50 years.... nice marriage, still going strong after all these years. He wears Depends by the way. I have to change them.. that is when I remember. Them undergarments are expensive! I usually go on Ebay to by them in bulk by sellers from China. I've been using this one brand called Dripends and it's very absorbent and damn nice to look at too, It has a sculpted pouch for where his ding a ling is and it has these LED lights all around the poo poo and wee wee area. What I like about them is these diapers will change colors to let you know if they have to be change.. Green clean, Blue Poo, Yellow if ya don't change this ya may get a puddle. Red means he's got a rash on his Ass!. HA HAAAAAAAA. I just love what these foreign countries come up with. Mood diapers! how cute, he can turn any dark room into a disco. HA HAAAAAAA! though they do really have to make ones that change themselves..cause they're disgusting.. I'm scared I could electrocute myself when I am changing them. Then the room would look like a super disco! Ahhh
Back to me now...
Like I was saying earlier I was a movie queen of yesterdays.. I'd say at least 95 percent of the pictures I've done either got lost or destroyed, I made pictures with extremely low budget company's and directors. Like ""Babes In Bondage of '39" which was actually made in 1963, a wonderful movie that I wish someone could find. I danced my little ass off in that one as well whipped someones ass off too. This film wasn't too well received by any churches or synagogues or by anyone at all frankly. I think it played halfway through at the premiere in this cold basement in Canarsie.
Other pictures I remember very well were such phenomenal pieces of joy were; "It's Gay,Gay,Gay" (1948), 'Whatever Happened to Mother Snatch" (1965), "The Crotch Crabs" (1961), "Pussycat High" (1974) and something called "Don't eat my taco" I have no idea to when I did this one but I did. It was about these illegal aliens crossbreeding or was it cross dressing? Something at the border and I played this woman named Annie Lipslits and I ran some taco stand.. at the border, I don't remember the plot, I just know it was wonderful comedy musical. I also did have some wonderful bit parts like in this picture, my whole scene can be seen at the starting mark 1:16 to 1:25, yes siree that's me in that white dress.

Let me tell ya, I suffered bruises all over my body from that shoot and that was MY damn dress that got destroyed in the process, all I got was $10 and a turkey dinner at Howard Jonson's, just terrible.

Well I got to run for now and meet up with some of my girlie friends at IHOP for lunch and then do some shopping at WalMart, I have to pick up some new sheets and toilet paper. I'll talk to ya later..gawd willing.

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